3 Things To Try Instead Of Going On A Diet
Photo Credit: Diogenes Sousa on Pexels
Now that I’m home more than ever before, it’s harder to get my steps in. Thank God for this embarrassing habit of walking around the apartment listening to music through my headphones. Otherwise, I would probably never move. Pair that with the fact that there are snacks all around me (Jesse and I tear up the grocery store) and the fact that I’ve been feeling stressed (more compelled to devour aforementioned snacks) … I don’t feel my healthiest.
It’s nothing too crazy. I don’t hate my body (anymore) but that toxic little alarm in my head is going off. It’s the one that pokes at me when things fit just a bit tighter or the twin sisters are rubbing together more than usual with walking. On one hand, I welcome the extra softness and even enjoy shaking it around when I’m alone. On the other hand, controlling my appearance through strict diet restrictions gave me a twisted sense of accomplishment at one time and in brief moments, I feel tempted to start dieting again.
Whether or not you’ve struggled with maintaining a healthy weight, you’ve probably experienced pressure to diet. I remember being shocked in Doctor Lubel’s office where he told me I was about five pounds underweight during a checkup at age sixteen. I wanted to lose double that.
For me, eating healthily (which meant eating less) and exercising had nothing to do with leading a healthy lifestyle and everything to do with a twenty-four-inch waistline. Even though I knew I would never look like the girls on my thinspiration page, I liked the subconscious pat on the back that came with trying to get there anyway.
“A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women’s history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one.”
— Naomi Wolf, The Beuty Myth
The misery of self-deprivation seemed bearable until I inevitably lost the motivation to count calories, abstain from my favorite foods, and obsess over carbs. A couple of years ago, I dumped dieting after realizing I dealt with my body from a place of punishment and hatred and that corporations are waiting open-mouthed to capitalize on my self-loathing.
It was depressing to feel a pang of guilt with every meal that didn’t look like a cornucopia of superfood. A change was long overdue but the change would not come in the form of a new weight loss program. A complete mental and emotional shift regarding food began.
Letting go of dieting hasn’t meant ignoring my health. The opposite is true. Diet culture promotes a poisonous narrative about bodies that may do more harm than good. Popular weight-loss interventions fuel hatred for the body you live in right now and encourages you to strive for the better, more fit body you could have if only you just stopped devouring food. Indeed, bingeing every day isn’t a great idea health-wise but flogging yourself over food is arguably worse.
According to traditional ideas about healthy eating, there are good foods and bad foods. We feel proud of ourselves when we eat a head of lettuce but we’re plagued with guilt when we eat a slice of cake. Following a strict rabbit food diet for a week will obviously cause weight-loss but finally, after fighting cravings and being pre-occupied with your eating choices, bingeing behaviors are likely to return and so will the tsunami of negative emotions that only makes you want to self-soothe with food even more.
Neutralizing food, approaching it as neither good nor bad, is the first shift I would suggest for breaking the binge, guilt, repeat cycle that dieting creates. For me, letting go of food-related guilt was difficult because I thought that without it I would lose control and eat cookies until I couldn’t feel my legs.
Now that sweets have been accepted as a normal part of my diet (as they’ve always deserved), I don’t blackout when I eat them to numb the shame I feel for loving them so much. I savor each bite and allow myself to feel satisfaction. I find myself eating more moderately this way and I don’t hate myself after every snack.
Now, my primary goal is to eat mindfully with an in-the-moment awareness of the food I buy, the way I prepare it, and how I consume it. That doesn't mean I eat the perfect assortment of foods or the perfect amount but I’ve managed to curb compulsive eating for the most part.
Sometimes I still turn to food when I’m stressed but knowing when that’s happening nudges me towards seeking other methods of feeling better. This awareness leads to less guilt and more self-care. Mindless eating is the real danger because it turns into compulsive eating very quickly. If we are oblivious to our eating habits, it’s impossible to alter them.
Eating mindfully has helped me love foods I grew to resent when I was dieting. The sweetness of carrots, the fresh earthiness of spinach, and the bursting acidity of tomatoes come to life in my soup when I select each ingredient carefully before watching them slowly bubble together in my pot with warming flavors from my spice rack. I smear soft butter on toasted bread. The whole experience is so satisfying that one bowl is more than enough.
I’m able to resist the occasional temptation to obsess over food by incorporating a set of mindful habits into my everyday life. Admittedly it took a long time for these habits to stick and I still have my struggles (Exhibit A: Pandemic-induced snacking) but I am in control both mentally and physically. I don’t let my insecurities drive the way I treat my body yet I manage to stay at a healthy weight (Yes! Even though I jiggle a bit).
Losing weight might be a welcome side effect of adopting a more intuitive, mindful approach to your eating but allowing your food to truly satiate you is a result you can enjoy today. I hope the following suggestions from my experience will give you some new ideas or encouragement.
Don’t cut out foods — add new ones
In the past, my natural reaction to overeating and weight gain was eliminating full food groups from my diet. Now I realize that to feel satisfied with my food, thus not craving an excessive amount, a variety of nutrients and flavors are needed. When I add enough healthy, delicious meals and snacks, cravings are not as strong or frequent.
When I explore the grocery store and grab something new, there’s excitement. I like to buy with both heath and enjoyment in mind to make sure I experience the new ingredient positively in every way. Over time, I’ve noticed a natural balance between snack foods (not bad!) and nutrient-rich foods which makes me feel enthusiastic about nourishment, replacing the cycle of guilt with a cycle of exploration and satisfaction. Focus on the positive and realize that indulging comes in many different forms.
Love your body
Some people are distressed by the body positivity movement because of the belief that it enables an unhealthy lifestyle. Unfortunately, they would rather bully those who don’t fit society’s ideals assuming self-hate will motivate people to be healthier. Clearly, they are projecting their own dissatisfaction onto others under the guise of concern. It is vile.
Self-hate motivates us to seek solace in harmful coping mechanisms (like unhealthy eating). It’s just absurd to think that negativity will produce positive results and research shows that promoting a strong body image contributes to better health outcomes.
There’s no shame in wanting to change your physical appearance but the only way to meet your goals is to treat your current body well. Part of that is love and acceptance. It might be valuable to evaluate your desire to ‘improve’. Sometimes we hate things about ourselves that society senselessly deems inferior even though they are a beautiful part of human diversity.
I used to feel too fat-legged, too curly, and even too black. Dieting wouldn't soothe any of that self-hatred since my fat naturally lives on the bottom half of my body, my hair will always be kinky, and I am very clearly a dark-skinned black lady. I don’t want to change any of that just because society doesn't like it. Aspiring to inhabit a body I will never have is empty and destructive so instead, I aim to love everything I’ve been gifted every day.
Intuitive eating
“We define healthy eating as having a healthy balance of foods and having a healthy relationship with food.”
— Evelyn Tribole, Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works
Intuitive eating is an approach to nutrition that involves trusting cues from our bodies to guide our food choices. The name can seem a bit deceptive to many because we’re often taught to ignore bodily signals but practicing will pay off with time. Intuitive eating is notably sustainable according to research compared with traditional dieting which is known to produce the yo-yo effect.
The philosophy is made up of ten principles to establish a healthy attitude towards food and bodies. Here they are.
Reject the diet mentality: dieting goes against intuitive eating as it encourages us to disregard what our body is asking for.
Honor your hunger: depriving the body of the energy it needs can trigger a desire to overeat.
Make peace with food: food is on your side. Take guilt out of the equation and permit yourself to eat.
Challenge the food police: You might believe that there are good foods and bad foods as discussed earlier. Challenge diet culture’s ideas about what you should be eating.
Discover the satisfaction factor: Strive to feel satisfied after every meal. Pay attention to what you like seeing, smelling, and feeling when you eat. Create that for yourself.
Feel your fullness: Respect your body’s signals telling you that you’ve had enough to eat. Pause during meals to evaluate how you feel.
Cope with your emotions with kindness: food will never fix our emotional problems. Honor and deal with your feelings without involving food.
Respect your body: As discussed, society approaches bodies in a dangerous way. There is a pervasive idea that only a certain type of body deserves dignity. This is not true. Accept the genetics that make you unique and learn to love them.
Move your body: Notice how you feel when you exercise. Many use words like energized, flexible, strong. Focus on those feelings and you might feel more inclined to move more. Make exercise enjoyable not militant.
Honor your health: Make choices that will contribute to your overall health. Consider everything when you choose ingredients — both your enjoyment and your wellness.
This year has been traumatic to say the very least. Yet, online, all I see are people (like myself) lamenting about how much our bodies have declined since the quarantine began. Whether you’ve put on two pandy pounds or twenty, stop beating yourself up. Following another restrictive diet is not the healing you need.
Mindfulness has gained a lot of popularity in recent years and many have been compelled to explore it as a way to deal with the stress of living in our world. I think that most associate the practice with meditation but it can be valuable in so many different parts of our lives, why not food? Eating is certainly a facet of life that deserves more intention and less micro-managing.
*Originally posted on my Medium blog. If you want to get to know me better, follow me on Medium. That’s where I connect with readers and get personal.
